finding a spouse online text

Back in the good old days, you'd find your future spouse via friends, family, Islamic conferences etc.
But these days, more and more people are finding themselves online to find their future husbands and wives.
The World Wide Web, you can meet anyone any place, anywhere, any time. Come to our website, sign up!
Yes free trial offer. Look at his pictures, search by photos only. Thank you very much.
If you do decide to go this route there are some precautions that you should be aware of.
What do you mean precautions?
I mean red flags.
What do you mean red flags?
Red flags my friends; these are things that you should watch out for Tips once again to help you when you find people online.
Tip number one; ask questions to determine what the other person is expecting.
I guess let’s start off we can start by asking each other questions... and if you want you can go first.
... Yah I'm a citizen.
She wants to find out if I'm a citizen. Red flag number one.
Ok my turn... so what are you looking for?
A great car?
Tip number two; try to find out why she wants to get married.
Ok, so what do your parents think about you getting married?
... They don't know? ... Don't you think you should tell them?
What do you mean you’re running away?
Running away!
Tip number three; find out what her friends think of her.
If you had to ask your friends one word to describe you in one word, what would that word be?
HAHA psycho! No seriously.
You are serious?
Psycho HAHA no Big red flag!! BIG red flag.
Tip number four; make sure the sister is single.
But you know what; I think you should wait for the whole divorce process to go through before you start talking to people because I don't think this is right.
This is what you get with the internet.
So where is he now? In jail?!? For what? MURDER?!?
Murder! Murder! Three words of advice Dis-Co-Nect! Disconnect!
Hold on, hold on. You know what? Do you hear that? (Crinkling paper) Yah it's... I think it's on my end of the phone, I think we need to disconnect this call.
Tip number five; try to find out if your personalities match.
There’s a point of being shy and quiet, and there's too quiet.
Yah you mentioned you were quiet, but uhh... this is like really quiet. Are you still there?
You know I can hear you breathing.
And of course there's the opposite type of person, the person who is too talkative.
I'm .....uh-huh... uh-huh.... yah but it’s... yah but I....but... ok...
The type of person that won't let you talk, not even a word, all you can say is Salam alikum and the last thing you hear is a click.
Yah, you know what I'm talking about.
Just.... no no ....
Tip number six; be sure that she is not a stalker!
You're watching me? HAHAHA ... What? Ok then, what am I wearing?
At this point you should be very afraid.
If the person watching you is outside your window, this is a huge red flag.
Nooooo way. Run! Run bro! Run!
Actually call 911 and then run.
Tip number seven; try to find out when she wants to have kids.
So I was just wondering; when do you want to have kids?
You already have kids?
uhh-ohh
Your kids have kids??
Big uhh-ohh
How old are you?